As I was searching through the world wide web today, I came across this older article from the Globe and Mail by Lisa Priest. The love story was so potent and achingly beautiful – I just had to share it. You can click on the links below to get the full story. It’s many, many pages long and so I condensed it below.
The wedding video
The love story of Erika Heller and Ryan Cornell
Erika Heller was born into a prominent family – her father was a past CEO of the Hudson Bay Company. She was only 9 when she first experienced her bouts of abdominal intense pain. In 2000, a colonscopy and further genetic testing diagnosed her with familial adenomatous polyposis (FAP), usually a hereditary illness, although none of her immediate family carried the gene. Most of her colon, rectum and some of her small bowel were removed at a Toronto-area hospital that summer. Yet, she survived, and continued to live a full life – similar to everyone else her age. With the exception of strict diets which she had to follow.
Ryan Cornell, first noticed Erika at HBC’s Brampton office. He worked in the management-trainee program, her at HBC community investments. With the instant attraction, the two went out for a casual dinner after work. They dated a few months, but drifted apart to pursue their own careers.
In 2005, Erika called her family physician Dr. Seiden, having received a sharp pain in her midback. Several tests later and finally a needle biopsy confirmed her worst nightmare – she had Stage IV (there is no stage V) Colorectal Cancer. Some doctors said she had 6 months to live, the most 4 years or so. Devastating news for a vibrant woman only 27 years of age.
Although Erika came from a prominent, wealthy family, Erika didn’t focus solely on herself and wallow in self-pity and focus. She became the spokeswoman for Look Good Feel Better, a national non-profit program committed to helping women manage the appearance-related effects of cancer and its treatment. And she does charity work for Colon Cancer Ontario.
A summer wedding in 2006 brought Ryan Cornell and Erika Heller back together. He heard that she had cancer, but nothing stopped him from reconnecting with her. Despite the nausea from the chemotherapy, Erika would stay up all night chatting with Ryan online. In August, when she was feeling better, they went out for dinner. The connection was still there. They fell in love.
Erika was frank with Ryan. She didn’t want him to be a widower at such a young age, but Ryan was persistent. He knew all the challenges that lay ahead, her health issues, as well as the fact that she would never be able to conceive a child. Ryan proposed to Erika with a beautiful 1.5 carat ring on July 1st, 2007 at a steakhouse in Niagara Falls.
A whirlwind of wedding planning ensued, complete with dress fittings, 5 bridesmaids, a wedding planner etc.
However, Erika had a lot more on her mind than a typical bride. Her oncologist recommended that she postpone the honeymoon and look into seeing a palliative-care doctor to help manage her system.
Despite all obstacles, on June 18, 2010 the couple exchanged vows at Blessed Sacrament church in North Toronto.
Against doctor’s advice, the new Mr & Mrs. Cornell went on their Mediterranean honeymoon cruise, determined to have the time of her life.
They came back from their honeymoon to the results of bad news – the cancer has spread to her lungs and liver in fall of 2008. Eventually it spread to her brain.
May 16, 2009, she suffered a seizure at her parents’ cottage. A belated birthday trip to Las Vegas for her newlywed husband had to be delayed.
She passed away 2 weeks shy of her one year wedding anniversary. She was only 31.
***************
This story really put things into perspective of me. It’s so easy to lose sight of the real purpose of a wedding – to get caught up with the flowers, photography, décor, reception details, menus, dresses and so on.
Ultimately, all those details won’t matter. They become trivial details next to what we’re REALLY celebrating – the love of two very special people – who have decided to commit to each other for the rest of their lives. “For better or worse, until death do us part”. And in Erika and Ryan’s case, that came too soon.
Not everyone is lucky and gets to live a long full life, have children, grandchildren and eventually grow old with their loved ones.
So to brides/grooms planning their wedding, or even vendors who are working in the industry – sometimes we need to just sit back and remember why we’re doing all this. Just take a moment and really, really, take it all in. A perfect wedding won’t exist, a perfect marriage doesn’t exist, but the imperfect love of two souls is more beautiful that anyone of us can imagine.
